What’s Life Telling You?

It’s hard to keep up with all of the changes in our inner and external worlds...recently my body and life were trying to tell me something I needed to listen to

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Here she comes...do you see her peeking around the corner beckoning us to come out from beneath the layers of winter? Hello Spring. Is that really you?

She is certainly a welcomed guest! Here in the Catskill Mountains, promise is in the air. You can sense it all around. We are awakening again; Mother Earth is stirring — maintaining her promise. The days are lighter, longer, warmer. Beneath the soil seedlings are preparing for their debut (some are even starting to pop through). This gentle transition calls to us.

But I am not fully prepared. I’m not ready to go. I feel weak, vulnerable, impatient.

I don’t know if I intuited it while writing last month’s blog, but that whole ‘March coming in like a lion and out like a lamb’, played itself out in my body and leveled me for the first time in years. Now, please don’t jump to conclusions or diagnose me — illness, in any form, is triggering enough to me.

When I was a kid being ‘sick’ wasn’t really an option. We had a family business to run, the show must go on...regardless. It felt taboo to take time off. Time off was lost wages, something I couldn’t afford and yet, I have learned the long and hard way that I cannot afford to NOT take off and/or honor my body when she cries out. And while I’ve come a long way departing from that thinking, admittedly, resistance still lingers a bit.

Suffice it to say, I don’t do ‘sick’ well.

When this nasty seasonal chest cold first landed, I thought I could do what I usually do; muscle my way through it, wrestle it to the ground, green juice it away and be done. Sure, I’d rest for one day, but had no idea how long I would have to surrender to it.

My body had her own plan.

I haven’t felt this badly in nearly fifteen years, but some things aren’t meant to be controlled. When my bestie texted me to ask, “What is your body trying to tell you?” I wanted to scream, NOTHING. I need to get back to work. See, I’m still struggling with the remnants of seeing illness as weakness.

I ignored this question at first, but as she does...she only asked it again! Ha.

It’s not that I have all the answers here and I think that parts will continue to reveal themselves, but here is a bit of what I came up with. I share this with you because life is always revealing its wisdom to us. It shines the light in all the corners we still need to explore. It’s also happening FOR us, not TO us. Sigh.

So, we’ve established that illness triggers me (not with others, but with myself). Spring is upon us and is the great metaphor of new beginnings and for me is also the gateway to summer (my hurry up and get crazy busy time). I’ve languished in the pace of winter, restored and retreated. Shifting gears feels abrupt. I need to ease into her.

Perhaps this sudden illness has forced me to surrender and care for myself before the busy season? Perhaps I simply need to take stock of how life is unfolding around me? Perhaps it is all of it and more?

AND did I mention that there is a tremendous amount of change going on in our house — all exciting and new, but change nonetheless is also accompanied by some disruption, uncertainty and discomfort — just ask a butterfly.

Well, I won’t keep you in suspense for much longer...and just say that my girls (both 19) are stretching their wings and exploring exciting new chapters. I’m in awe of each of them and the journeys they’ve been on — how they show up with such heart, compassion, curiosity, and connection.

Mayra just returned from Dallas where she was offered a job as a flight attendant and is about to begin her intensive training! And True just returned from Poland where she attended a one-of-a-kind workshop with Wim Hof, otherwise known as the ‘Iceman’ who is famously known for teaching people to withstand cold temperatures (as in hiking up a mountain in the snow in your underwear), ice-plunging and breathing.

Interestingly, or not, I succumbed to this cold just before they each left. I’m not suggesting that I know what it all means or represents for me — I’m just intrigued. Life keeps us on our toes and has so much beauty and fascination there for the taking.

And all of this during the most recent powerful lunar eclipse!

The Greek word ‘eclipse’ actually translates to abandoning or forsaking a usual place. Hmmm. A usual place? A usual pattern or way of thinking?

What is that for you?

It is believed that lunar eclipses are times to reflect on karmic patterns and represent the transformative power of change. Well that certainly resonates around here in my inner and outer world. Maybe you can relate?

I’m a big fan of Rebecca Campbell. In a recent post of hers she wrote:

“Eclipses are powerful portals that invite transformation, realignment, and awakening. They accelerate change — what might have taken months or years can shift suddenly. 

They bring hidden truths to light, sometimes in unexpected ways. They are often linked to destiny and course corrections, aligning us with a higher path.

This eclipse is revealing to us what we’ve outgrown and is calling us forward into what’s next. What is this eclipse revealing for you?”

Life is layered — sweet and sour. I’m just along for the ride, leaning in and constantly trying to learn more, reveal more, heal more.

According to Louse Hay, upper respiratory colds represent, “fear of taking in life fully.” Her suggestion for a new way of thinking, “I am safe. I love my life.”

Back to what my body is trying to tell me.

What is life trying to share? I am human and this magnificent body is divine, right where she is. As I recover, I am reminded of her strength. I give thanks for my antibodies, my immune system, my community and friends — and for all who have helped me through this rough patch.

Most of all, life is telling me that I am blessed — and for this, I am truly in awe.

Look around and consider what life is whispering in your ear, dear friend.

—Lea Haas, Owner, The Garden Cafe Woodstock